Skip to main content

Because it matters!

I know this is a business, but that doesn't mean I have to like everything that means. For instance, why do we need to organize and have an "official" Red Sox Nation? Can't it just be an abstract idea? Why does Remy need to constantly talk about his web site and merchandise? I wish that every statistic, every at bat, every inning wasn't "brought to you by" anything. "Excuse me sir, in which isle can I find the official shaving cream of the Boston Red Sox?"

But, I accept that this is reality and that it helps pay for us to have a competitive team.

That being said, the Sox have announced the finalists for President of Red Sox Nation. Here is why there is only one real candidate: Patrick Kennedy of, you guessed it, Vermont.
  • You can't vote for a celebrity. That's ridiculous. Remy can be the honorary chairman, but not the friggin' president. We need someone responsible for the day-to-day operations, not just a figure-head.
  • I'm not voting for anyone not living in New England. Sorry Taki. That's just the way it is.
  • I'm not voting for anyone from Massachusetts. You need someone who shows that the Nation is bigger than just its home state.
  • That leaves us with: William "Billy the Kid" French of New York; Frank "The Artist" Galasso of Rhode Island; Patrick "PK" Kennedy of Vermont; Steve "Coma Guy" Manganello of Maine; and, Rick "The Fan's Commish" Swanson of Connecticut.
    • Sorry Billy. You're a French, which we've been told is anti-freedom, and no way I can support a New Yorker for this "important" position.
    • Mr. Galasso from Rhode Island. Sorry, you loose out because of a typo. We all know that Rhode Island is a nickname for the Ocean state's full name of Rhode Island and the Providence Plantations. I'm sorry that Mr. Galasso has to pay the price for MLB's laziness, but this scribe can't stomach laziness.
    • There's no way we're allowing coma guy. No sleeping on the job here!
    • Finally, Rick is obviously full of himself. He already thinks he's the commish! I don't want someone who sees this presidency merely as a stepping stone towards greater heights.
So, here we are with but one clear choice: the people's candidate, the Vermonter, the long shot, underdog, Mr. Kennedy. I know you agree. So, go vote for the Patrick Kennedy to be the George Washington of Sox Nation. VOTE HERE. By the way, I'm planning to run for Secretary of State for the Nation and I'd appreciate your support.

Note: I was waiting to post this until the voting had kicked off. Because I waited, I lost my "scoop." The Burlington Free Press had PK on the front page this morning. But I promise, I wrote this first. So there Gannett! I win.

Note Note: to anonymous commenter below: here you go. You ask and you shall received. To others, feel free to comment anytime. Anybody? Please...

Comments

Matt said…
I expect more from you, Wally. Why feed the beast? This contest is the height of stupidity. I urge you to not partake.

I say this remembering all too well that the last time I asked you not to do something, I was handed a pint glass with a bite-shaped chunk missing from it. And we were then asked to leave the bar.
mahinawai said…
I think it's really funny that you won't vote for Galasso because of a typo, and you yourself make a typo in the same sentence. Did you do that on purpose? I believe the opposite of 'to win' is spelled 'lose'. Anyways, I'm voting for PK.

"Mr. Galasso from Rhode Island. Sorry, you LOOSE out because of a typo."
Wally said…
Let's just go with: I meant to do it. And leave it. It's funnier that way.

Popular posts from this blog

Red Sox Reality: Don't Make Another Trade

The Red Sox simply should not make another trade this season unless it's a long-term solution and a real steal.  Aside from getting Chris Sale straight up for Dan Butler, the Sox should not get involved in another trade.

The Sox actually are about as well situated as they can get on pretty much every front.  That's not to say they are a perfect team, just that the cost of getting anyone who would substantially improve them is prohibitive.

The starting rotation is clearly the spot for which most fans are crying for improvement, with the bullpen a close second.  But in the starting rotation, David Price is one of the best pitchers in baseball and we should expect him to pitch like it.  His high strikeout and low walk totals, and his health, bode well for him.  It looks likely that the Sox' fate with rest on the one game Wild Card playoff, so much of the season really hinges on that one start by Price.  Short of Sale, there's no one available on the market who would be an…

Promotion Pecking Order Isn't Just About Talent or Impact

It's that time of the Major League season: the time when injuries being mounting up for every team, ineffective play forces teams to cut bait, and trades start becoming possible.  The Red Sox have some choices to make and here's what they should do:
They should send young infielder Marco Hernandez back to Pawtucket and, a la Swihart and Betts before him, have him play mostly leftfield.  Clearly the Sox like his bat in the majors now.  He's not going to play regularly on the infield with Brock Holt, Josh Rutledge, and - at shortstop if Bogaerts were to go down - Deven Merrero are all ahead of him as backups. With Swihart down for a while, Holt hurt and struggling with the bat, there is room for Hernandez as the lefthanded sub for Chris Young in left.  Otherwise, I don't see the value in having him on the roster.When they send down Marco, bring up Bryce Brentz.  He's hitting well in Pawtucket, 27 years old, taking up a 40 man roster slot, and seemingly healthy.  He ca…

Chris Sale, Bullpen Reboot, Hot Stove Checklist Addition, Sell High

CHRIS SALE TRADE: The Sox just got ace lefty Chris Sale for America's top prospect Yoan Moncada, Michael Kopech, another Basabe, and Victor Diaz.  That's a true ace for a potential superstar who clearly needs more seasoning, a golden arm who seemed to be a possible headcase, and two lottery tickets.  This is a very good trade for the Sox. While the Sox would have found room to play Moncada once he was ready, he didn't exactly fill a void with Peddy blocking him at second, Panda getting another shot at 3B this year, and 3B prospects Rafael Devers and Bobby Dalbec - and maybe Michael Chavis - not too far off possibly.  Moncada might not be the biggest pain felt here. After trading Anderson Espinoza for Drew Pomeranz - a trade that is looking worse these days - the trade of Kopech leaves very little high-end pitching talent in the system right now.  There is now a very large drop off after Jason Groome.  Also, the loss of Basabe, Diaz, Dubon and Pennington today just really d…