Skip to main content

Because it matters!

I know this is a business, but that doesn't mean I have to like everything that means. For instance, why do we need to organize and have an "official" Red Sox Nation? Can't it just be an abstract idea? Why does Remy need to constantly talk about his web site and merchandise? I wish that every statistic, every at bat, every inning wasn't "brought to you by" anything. "Excuse me sir, in which isle can I find the official shaving cream of the Boston Red Sox?"

But, I accept that this is reality and that it helps pay for us to have a competitive team.

That being said, the Sox have announced the finalists for President of Red Sox Nation. Here is why there is only one real candidate: Patrick Kennedy of, you guessed it, Vermont.
  • You can't vote for a celebrity. That's ridiculous. Remy can be the honorary chairman, but not the friggin' president. We need someone responsible for the day-to-day operations, not just a figure-head.
  • I'm not voting for anyone not living in New England. Sorry Taki. That's just the way it is.
  • I'm not voting for anyone from Massachusetts. You need someone who shows that the Nation is bigger than just its home state.
  • That leaves us with: William "Billy the Kid" French of New York; Frank "The Artist" Galasso of Rhode Island; Patrick "PK" Kennedy of Vermont; Steve "Coma Guy" Manganello of Maine; and, Rick "The Fan's Commish" Swanson of Connecticut.
    • Sorry Billy. You're a French, which we've been told is anti-freedom, and no way I can support a New Yorker for this "important" position.
    • Mr. Galasso from Rhode Island. Sorry, you loose out because of a typo. We all know that Rhode Island is a nickname for the Ocean state's full name of Rhode Island and the Providence Plantations. I'm sorry that Mr. Galasso has to pay the price for MLB's laziness, but this scribe can't stomach laziness.
    • There's no way we're allowing coma guy. No sleeping on the job here!
    • Finally, Rick is obviously full of himself. He already thinks he's the commish! I don't want someone who sees this presidency merely as a stepping stone towards greater heights.
So, here we are with but one clear choice: the people's candidate, the Vermonter, the long shot, underdog, Mr. Kennedy. I know you agree. So, go vote for the Patrick Kennedy to be the George Washington of Sox Nation. VOTE HERE. By the way, I'm planning to run for Secretary of State for the Nation and I'd appreciate your support.

Note: I was waiting to post this until the voting had kicked off. Because I waited, I lost my "scoop." The Burlington Free Press had PK on the front page this morning. But I promise, I wrote this first. So there Gannett! I win.

Note Note: to anonymous commenter below: here you go. You ask and you shall received. To others, feel free to comment anytime. Anybody? Please...


Matt said…
I expect more from you, Wally. Why feed the beast? This contest is the height of stupidity. I urge you to not partake.

I say this remembering all too well that the last time I asked you not to do something, I was handed a pint glass with a bite-shaped chunk missing from it. And we were then asked to leave the bar.
mahinawai said…
I think it's really funny that you won't vote for Galasso because of a typo, and you yourself make a typo in the same sentence. Did you do that on purpose? I believe the opposite of 'to win' is spelled 'lose'. Anyways, I'm voting for PK.

"Mr. Galasso from Rhode Island. Sorry, you LOOSE out because of a typo."
Wally said…
Let's just go with: I meant to do it. And leave it. It's funnier that way.

Popular posts from this blog

Sox Season Preview

Starting strong isn't a necessity for making a championship run but it sure helps.  Unfortunately, these Sox will need some real luck to get off to a great start.  They're starting off the year without their #2 starter, starting their 3rd best catcher, lacking a platoon partner for either 1B or 3B, missing their two best set-up guys, and expecting All Star caliber play from a rookie.  That said, all these issues should resolve themselves by mid-June and even a bad Sox '17 team should be in fine position to make a second half run.  But Sox fans will likely be pulling out their hair for the first month or two.

Things do have a way of working themselves out with good teams.  Last year, the Sox started the year with a pronounced lack of home runs, their best pitcher was the last guy to make the rotation (Wright) and we had gone through 2 catchers and lost a live Panda.  Things turned around with the team ending up 7th in the AL in homers - and by far the most runs - the league…

Sox' Phantom Depth

Two former top outfield prospects who can play a little defense and sometimes be a threat at the plate and a 1B/OF with two years receiving votes for NL MVP.  These guys are the surplus players just off the Red Sox expected 25-man 2017 roster.  And its unlikely any of them will be able to significantly help the team this year even if they played up to the highest expectations.

Bryce Brentz, Rusney Castillo, and Allen Craig are all Red Sox as of today and you could make a pretty easy argument why it's plausible that each one could be strong contributors to a major league team this year - and two of them likely will, but that team won't be the Red Sox.

Brentz is a former first round pick who can hit the ball a mile, has a cannon arm, and is athletic enough to roam the outfield.  He hit rather well last year, especially against lefties, during his tenure as the Sox starter while Chris Young and Brock Holt were hurt - and Andrew Benintendi was in A-ball.  What has held him back ove…

Chris Sale, Bullpen Reboot, Hot Stove Checklist Addition, Sell High

CHRIS SALE TRADE: The Sox just got ace lefty Chris Sale for America's top prospect Yoan Moncada, Michael Kopech, another Basabe, and Victor Diaz.  That's a true ace for a potential superstar who clearly needs more seasoning, a golden arm who seemed to be a possible headcase, and two lottery tickets.  This is a very good trade for the Sox. While the Sox would have found room to play Moncada once he was ready, he didn't exactly fill a void with Peddy blocking him at second, Panda getting another shot at 3B this year, and 3B prospects Rafael Devers and Bobby Dalbec - and maybe Michael Chavis - not too far off possibly.  Moncada might not be the biggest pain felt here. After trading Anderson Espinoza for Drew Pomeranz - a trade that is looking worse these days - the trade of Kopech leaves very little high-end pitching talent in the system right now.  There is now a very large drop off after Jason Groome.  Also, the loss of Basabe, Diaz, Dubon and Pennington today just really d…